we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize