Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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