Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
