She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
