Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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