You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
