return my video game
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
