You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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