It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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