I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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