So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
