Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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