he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
