woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Randomize
