I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
