...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
operation have a gay friend backfired
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
