OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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