we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He passed out mid-signature
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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