If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
