i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
