I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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