I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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