There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
