Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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