did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
