the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
