$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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