Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
All I want is dick and wine.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
