doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
