I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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