Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
