Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
