i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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