We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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