I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Quick, to the slutcave!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
