Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
