Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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