how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm passing your future prison.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize