So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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