how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize