I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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