You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
