my mouth tastes like poor choices
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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