just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
