you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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