Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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