Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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