did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
