I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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