There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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