My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
If I die, sorry about rent.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize