I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
