i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
where does the pee come out of this thing
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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