I CAN MOONWALK!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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