whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
