Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
