I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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