Already got asked if we're dating
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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