LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
