I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize