So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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