Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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